Christmas Music

I don't like to listen to too much Christmas Music.  In fact I try to avoid it starting in late October when businesses start inundating us with it, and all the way up until just a few days before Christmas.  Its not that I don't like to get into the Christmas Spirit and all, it is just that I get sick of the same songs repeatedly being beaten and tortured by greedy singers.  Growing up, my Dad liked to listen to Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand sing the Christmas standards.  Both Jews.  Fine, but I'm going to make a Rosh Hashanah album.

Anyway, I've always loved the Carpenter's Christmas album (really pretty much anything by the Carpenters) and my wife also grew up listening to them on Christmas morning, so that is a tradition that we have now.  It is amazing, though, that every single artist out there seems to have a Christmas album nowadays.  This morning I went on Groovegshark (try it, you'll like it) to set up a playlist, and looked for my all-time favorite Christmas songs: Sleigh Ride and O Holy Night.

O Holy Night is a big song.  A really big song.  I don't think that some singers realize how bad it makes you look when you try to sing a big song and fail.  And yet it seems like everyone has to try it.  Very few can do it.  I discovered today that Josh Groban has a version of O Holy Night.  Perfection.  He sings it big and beautiful but does not fall prey to the temptation to overdo it.  Josh Groban could sing the ingredients on processed cheese and I would enjoy it.  In fact, if I weren't already married, and happened to be gay, and had a thing for geeky guys with ugly hair and was only judging based on voice, then I might just marry Josh.  Fortunately for me, I'm already married, not gay, and have a thing for geeky women with nice hair and judge mates based on a few additional criteria (like how will they look hanging on my arm at fancy restaurants).

I also discovered that David Hasselhoff, Jessica Simpson, Big Atomic, Go Fish and too many others all think that they can sing O Holy Night.  Yes, and I can repair the fuselage on a jumbo jet, but you probably wouldn't want to fly on that plane.

And if you want to be disrespectful and irreverent, go listen to the Southpark version of O Holy Night.  I have to walk a lot of stairs on my knees after listening to it, but I always laugh.  Repeatedly.  "Jesus was born and so I get presents.  Thank you, Jesus, for being born."  Also, enjoy how the choir in the background keeps correcting him.  When you are done, a couple of hours of self-flagellation should wipe the stains away and you can get back to the real spirit of Christmas.

Anyway, I've enjoyed my couple days of Christmas music, and now I'm looking forward to shelving it for another year.

Merry Christmas everybody!  Enjoy the presents and the food and the fun, but please do take a few minutes on this day to remember the Christ in Christmas and do something kind and loving for someone around you.  One day it'll come back to you when you need it most.