Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Today's "Reason For Your Visit"

When a patient checks in at our ER, they are asked to fill out a half-sheet of paper with name, phone, SSN, birth date, and "reason for your visit".

Whenever I work triage, I write down the interesting ones and have been building up a list.  Some are funny, some embarrassing, and some just tickle my warped sense of humor.  I try to give the benefit of the doubt.  I know that these people are hurting and just want to be seen, and if I were the patient, whatever I wrote down may just end up on a list like this as well, but it still makes me shake my head to see some of the things that patients can come up with.

Thus, my regular (as in whenever I feel like it) series, "Reason For Your Visit."  Please keep in mind that spelling, punctuation, and capitalization are copied directly from the original paper.


So let's get to today's Reason For Your Visit:

THROWT HURT / CANT EAT SWALLOW

Is that an African or a European swallow?

7 comments:

shrtstormtrooper said...

Well, it depends on where your hospital is because we all know that African Swallows are non-migratory.

EDNurseasauras said...

Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

shrtstormtrooper said...

Of course not. It's a simple matter of weight ratios. A four ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut!

Braden said...

Wait a minute; supposing two swallows carried it together?

Epijunky said...

Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

keepbreathing said...

They could hang it on a string between them and carry it that way, I suppose.

Angela said...

FYI...
The airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour.