Friday, November 20, 2009

Today's "Reason For Your Visit"

When a patient checks in at our ER, they are asked to fill out a half-sheet of paper with name, phone, SSN, birth date, and "reason for your visit".

Whenever I work triage, I write down the interesting ones and have been building up a list.  Some are funny, some embarrassing, and some just tickle my warped sense of humor.  I try to give the benefit of the doubt.  I know that these people are hurting and just want to be seen, but it still makes me shake my head to see some of the things that patients can come up with.

Thus, my regular (as in whenever I feel like it) series, "Reason For Your Visit."  Please keep in mind that spelling, punctuation, and capitalization are copied directly from the original paper.

So let's get to today's Reason For Your Visit:

hurt ankle rolled ankle

Unfortunately, I got the triage done before the whole poem could be written.  I later found it laying on the floor, scribbled on the back of a tongue depressor:

Inside, outside, upside down
I walk a lot to get around.
Oh, no! twisted, bent, and pulled
My foot moved how it never should!
hurt ankle rolled ankle, ouchie ow!
Let's get to the ER now!
Nurse, oh nurse, you little elf,
Dilaudid won't inject itself!
Get me back or I'mma holla,
Fix me now on your tax dolla!
Thank you, thank you. Happy clam
I really like green percs and ham!

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