Thursday, February 26, 2009

Today's "Reason For Your Visit"

When a patient checks in at our ER, they are asked to fill out a half-sheet of paper with name, phone, SSN, birth date, and "reason for your visit".

Whenever I work triage, I write down the interesting ones and have been building up a list.  Some are funny, some embarrassing, and some just tickle my warped sense of humor.  I try to give the benefit of the doubt.  I know that these people are hurting and just want to be seen, but it still makes me shake my head to see some of the things that patients can come up with.

Thus, my regular (as in whenever I feel like it) series, "Reason For Your Visit."  Please keep in mind that spelling, punctuation, and capitalization are copied directly from the original paper.

So let's get to today's Reason For Your Visit:

I think I have amona It's hard to Breath and Coughing STuff up.

I will admit that when I called this patient up to triage, I had no idea what amona was.  That's okay, though, because I'm pretty good at winging it, if I do say so myself (which, obviously, I do).

Fortunately, thanks to the wonder that is Wikipedia, I found out what amona is.  Apparently, it is a settlement in Gaza where Israeli police are accused of using excessive force in evacuating some homes that were ordered to be demolished.

So armed with this knowledge as I now am, I would certainly have changed how I triaged the patient.  The next time someone says that they have Amona, I'll just beat them over the head with a police club until they give in.

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