Sunday, February 15, 2009

Today's "Reason For Your Visit" - Body Parts Edition #1

When a patient checks in at our ER, they are asked to fill out a half-sheet of paper with name, phone, SSN, birth date, and "reason for your visit".

Whenever I work triage, I write down the interesting ones and have been building up a list.  Some are funny, some embarrassing, and some just tickle my warped sense of humor.  I try to give the benefit of the doubt.  I know that these people are hurting and just want to be seen, but it still makes me shake my head to see some of the things that patients can come up with.

Thus, my regular (as in whenever I feel like it) series, "Reason For Your Visit."  Please keep in mind that spelling, punctuation, and capitalization are copied directly from the original paper.

So let's get to today's Reason(s) For Your Visit:

Right index finger
Left shoulder
Right Rib Cage

And this is just a handful.  I understand that when you want to get seen, you don't want to spend a lot of time writing a novel, but perhaps you could at least specify what is wrong with said body parts.  Are they missing?  Infected?  Cut?  Broken?  Hurting?  Ugly?  Overweight?  Mildly gangrenous?  Is gangrenous even a word?  Does it really matter, after all, it is my blog and I can do whatever I want?  Should I have put a question mark at the end of that last question?  Does anyone care?

Sorry, got distracted.  Anyway, I particularly love the visit from the Tin Man thrown randomly in the middle of that list.  I suppose he probably went to his PCP, but found that he couldn't get in for several days, and since Dorothy was already coming to the ER to have her bunions looked at, he may as well see if we could finally and conclusively end his search.  Lion was going to come for moral support, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, and I think scarecrow was found wandering aimlessly around in the diagnostic imaging department.  Let's just hope that the Wicked Witch of the West (please visit doesn't find out about the no-drinks-at-the-nurses'-station rule, because so far that is the only thing keeping her at bay.

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